Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
