Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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