There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
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