i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
