I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
