He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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