So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
