She's JV to your varsity
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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