my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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