Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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