I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize