It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
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