I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
