he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Randomize