sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize