its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I wanna passion pit in your ass
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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