I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
