sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
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My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
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I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
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