So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
