I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Randomize
