Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
