Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
