I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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