did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
