She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the high leading the old right now
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize