It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Randomize
