i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
