I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
