I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Randomize
