I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
