Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Damn victory sex feels great
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
