how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
