I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
