Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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