Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
