He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
