If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
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