Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Holy sore nipples Batman
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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