I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
