Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
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