im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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