You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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