It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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