oh fat girl friday strikes again...
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
