I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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