I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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