don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Randomize
