He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
