You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
