They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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