just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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