he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
