help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
