come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
