New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Randomize
