just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
