But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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