I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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