The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
